2+ hour, 22+ min ago  (108+ words) The post Tesla Launches New Model Of Explosions appeared first on The Onion. Harvard-Educated Texan Not Sure Which Place To Mention First Mormon Family Trying To Ignore Dog's Huge Boner Guy At Gym Keeps Offering To Spot Everyone Toddler Thrown…...

6+ day, 8+ hour ago  (114+ words) The Onion Mom Sends Picture Of Grapefruit To Son Who Sometimes Eats Grapefruit Sniper Takes Out Forklift Operator Within 200 Feet Of Las Vegas Sphere Well Water Still Tastes Like Toddler Crime Scene Fetishist Dusts For Toe Prints Silent Protest Sparks…...

9+ mon, 1+ week ago  (108+ words) Saturday, September 13, 2025 Elon Musk was temporarily overtaken as the world's richest person by Oracle cofounder Larry Ellison after the company's stock surged $100 billion on AI-related cloud computing contracts. What do you think? "Nothing tens of thousands of layoffs can't solve....

10+ mon, 4+ week ago  (98+ words) Thursday, July 24, 2025 Tesla CEO Elon Musk launched the company's first diner in Los Angeles, with the futuristic pit stop featuring retro Americana, EV superchargers, and robot servers. What do you think? "A place where people can eat is the type…...

11+ mon, 6+ day ago  (66+ words) The post Trump: "I'm Not In These Nonexistent Files Concocted To Destroy Me' appeared first on The Onion. Become a Member. Get the Paper. Thursday, July 17, 2025 Sorry, some heat indexes you just want to keep for yourself Comparing yourself to…...

11+ mon, 3+ week ago  (51+ words) Tuesday, July 1, 2025 Sorry, some heat indexes you just want to keep for yourself Free Your Wallet. Shop The Onion Store. (June 21 to July 22): While they can't guarantee things will turn around for you, the stars do offer galaxy credit on…...